Recovering

I spent time at home with my parents recovering from the hospital stay. It was hard because (of many reasons) I constantly felt dizzy and not myself. I knew what was going on in a sense but it felt like I was living in a game world. (if that makes any sense??)
We spent a few weeks at home - on the water - then back to Birmingham for 6 weeks for Radiation and Chemo. :)

Post Surgery

I was so relived to finally leave the hospital! Looking back now, it doesn't seem that long OR that bad, however, I don't want to go back and do it all over again. :)
I think it was hard because I was so confined and really confused most of the time.

We had a couple of weeks "off" then it was back to the doc's office we go. I was scheduled for radiation during the week for about 15 minutes a day. That part of the whole experience was super easy. They would bring up to the back, strap my face down (literally) - so I wouldn't move - then give me some radiation for no more than 15 minutes.
This continued for 6 weeks ...

During this time, we would go to museums, movies, parks - anything we would think of doing and could find. Birmingham is really, REALLY nice and large - so we always found stuff to do. We never ran out of things to do, places to go - in fact, we ran out of time. 6 weeks flew by.
On the weekends we would go home and spend the days enjoying the sun and the water.

This was a tough time - BUT I made it!! Special thanks to my folks for helping me through each step. It was a daily battle and well worth every second. I love you!!

Going Home

The day finally arrived where they would release us and we could drive HOME. Home- a (new) place to live ... in Alabama. A place that I thought of as vacation - of comfort, relaxation, my parents - temporary. Now home. At this point I am so happy to go home I don't care or even want to think about my life and what lay ahead.

Up to this point we have been in the hospital for 2 weeks. I know that is not a long time, compared to other people, but to me - us- it seemed like FOREVER. The worst part was ... well, everything. Except - for the food. My God, the food was so good. And they would deliver it to us if we wanted to order. Not only did they provide us with a huge menu, but there were also a couple diners we could sit and eat or take out. I have never eaten so good - and so cheap.

I was in 'waiting' to leave the hospital due to my calcium and creatine numbers. They both had to be within a certain range and it was taking forever to get there. It would be good one day, then back down the next. Then it would go back up, but not enough. It was a very frustrating, daily wait and hope and pray that my numbers would be up. Because from our perspective, I was doing no-good by being in the hospital. I could do the same thing (watch tv and walk and WAIT) at HOME. Why did I need to be there? Augh. Hmm.

Somehow (probably by my crying because I was going crazy being in the hospital) we convinced my surgeon that if my numbers were at a certain point they would release me. She agreed. We drew blood that night (like every night) - and waited (tried to sleep - but impossible) to see what they were. There was a good (they better be) chance they were going to be what they needed/wanted.........But because life ISN'T easy and makes you want to laugh ... guess what happened?

The results didn't come back, for a number of unexplained reasons the tests didn't go through. So another blood test. Which meant another day to wait.
We waited until that morning to get the results. Waited. Ate breakfast. Waited. Talked to the doctor. Waited. AND then, FINALLY - she said we could go. YES. 2 weeks... out. And then we waited. Papers. Waiting. Taking IV out. Waiting. But who cares, we were on our way out.

The car ride home was weird (I don't know how else to describe it for now). Because of my drugs I didn't feel "normal" so it was a little scary being in a car and not having control. I will explain this feeling later.

Home. New home.
Now just learning to sleep.

Summa Reading

One of my personal goals is to read more books. I like to read before I go to bed at night and during the weekends. Because of what has happened my summer reading list has tripled in size (thanks Grandma).

I have decided to list what I am going to read here because I like lists and also incase any of you want to know.  Summer reading list –turned into – 6 month reading list. I hope to read and finish these within the next 6 months … this might seem lofty – don’t know?

In order particular order

-Tan Twan Eng – The Gift of Rain

-Ursula Hegi – The Vision of Emma Blau

-Bret Lott – Jewel

-Jan Karon – Light from Heaven

-Isabol Allendale – Daughter of Fortune

-Malike Oufkir – Stolen Lives

                            Freedom

-Barbara Bickmore – East of the Sun

-Kim Chernin – In my Mother’s House

-Penina Keen Spinka – Picture Maker

-Kenneth Wishnia – The fifth Servant

-Sandra Dallas – Tall Grass

-Deborah Roban – The Olive Grove

-Anchee Min – The Last Empire

-Lorna Landvik – Angry Housewives

-Jeannelle Wells – The Glass Castle

-Peter Carey – Parrot and Oliver in America

-Barbara Kingsolver – The Bean Trees

                                    The Poisonwood Bible

                                    Animal, Vegetable, Miracle 

-Leon Uris – The Haj

-Diane Ackerman – The Zookeeper’s Wife

-Alexandre Dummand – 3 Cups of Tea

-Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche – The Joy of Living

BOLD- currently reading

GREEN-  have read

My great/fabulous grandmother sent me these books to read. We like an assortment of reading ... 

What I Know Now

What we thought and what I know now is different ... so which version should I tell? ha

I thought that I had 2 separate problems - brain cancer and hyperparathyroid - but in my reading and understanding because the doctors haven't been all that clear - my thyroid problem is probably due to my brain cancer. :) Great!

I believe it was the lack of understanding and clarity that made me feel so relaxed about my biopsy. Looking back now, I should have been scared out of pants. Everything happened so quickly that I really didn't have time to think. By the time I was understanding why I was in the hospital in the first place I went under the knife. I thought (at the time) it was a cool experience having a biopsy of my brain - I had to wear a bird-cage contraption that I found very humorous. I felt like tweety bird and made numerous comments about this I do remember.

Fortunatly I don't remember much about this surgery thanks to the great drugs they gave me ... Guess that is what they want? I remember trying really hard to "not forget" but in the end I did. There are bits and pieces I do remember and places I do recall, but overall I don't remember much.
That dang cage left scars though. Because they were preforming a biospy they had to screw (literally) the cage to my head. Therefore, there was a screw in my head (replaced after with staples) and two on the sides of my face. These sides ones did produce some blood and funny-looking scars now. I felt like Frankenstein after, I guess, because I picture him wearing that cage and having similar scars? Weird? Yes, my crazy brain ...
the marks on my face are getting darker, the tanner my face gets. Aughhhh

Recovery was fairly easy for me ... I just remember being hungry. They pumped me up with fluids 24/7 so I quickly gained weight in my stomach and face. Not.so.happy.
They were giving me steroids and vitamins and other (yummy) fluids to help with recovery and my other "problem."

The medicine they were pumping me and I was taking - BTW - I never before could swallow 2 pills at once. Being in there for 2 weeks I quickly learned how to swallow about 5-6 at once. I was so proud of myself. ha ha
----made me pee every 10 minutes (literally). Along with
super starving
super thirsty
moody in the mornings
tired
bloated

Once it was decided that I would have my other surgery before beginning my chemo treatment (that was a lovely conversation between my MANY doctors - ha)  we began to prep. I had to undergo a couple of screenings which lasted several hours. It involved me laying down on HARD tables, in very nonconvertible positions for what seemed like hours. I was scheduled for the following morning, which meant a little rest for me and it gave my dad the chance to drive home and do some errands. A few hours later I came back to my room to only my mom who had the
pleasure of telling me that they had an opening and were prepping me for surgery NOW. WHAT!!??
The only good thing about this was it didn't allow much to settle in. Thank goodness I had eaten breakfast. :)

20 minutes later I was back for surgery, getting a new IV and signing waivers. I was more nervous for this surgery partly because I wasn't prepared (to think and ask tons of questions to my parents) and the other part because I was still confused. I wasn't as confused as when I first entered the hospital, but I wasn't feeling completely secure in the doctors and everything was moving so quickly. I was thankful to have done the surgery then instead of the morning, but still uneasy about the whole situation.
I was also nervous because my mom informed me that with this surgery I was going to have a breathing tube in me and they would take it out once I woke up and could breathe on my own. Secretly, I have always wanted to experience that ... but the fact that it was about to take place really frightened me.  What if I couldn't breathe? What if I freaked out? How would it feel ... would it hurt?
No time to think about these questions. Once I was back getting prepped for surgery, I was out.

The only time I have been in the hospital for surgery, IV, or anesthesia was when I was 5 or 6 to have my tonsils taken out. Needless to say, I don't remember that much. Now, I was doing this twice in a madder of days.
The surgery went fine - a little longer than expected - but fine. I went into recovery, saw my mom, and fell asleep. I don't remember recovery - the only thing I remember is waking up and being wheeled to my room. I was so tired and slept the rest of the night. The next thing I remember is waking up the next morning - STARVING!

Recovery went well - I felt good. Walking was a lot harder for me for some reason. I walked so slowly ... so slowly. I enjoyed getting out of bed and walking - the feeling trapped was quickly coming back.
I still had my good appetite
Still tired

Hoping to get out of the hospital ... what do I need to do to get out???

Hospital

I don’t remember a ton about going to the hospital or being there or my surgeries (I guess that is a good thing)! I remember bits and pieces of everything that went on during my 2-week stint in the hospital but when I try to think about what I did all day, I have no idea? Why is this? I slept, watched tv, played cards, walked and ate ... did that really take up all of my day? 

There were days when I had CT scans or other types of screening ... and for the most part I remember the days went by really fast. The nights on the other hand were real sllllooooow. The nights were hard for me because they always involved blood tests that took forever to draw. The nurses were good, but being in a hospital for 2 weeks - getting poked multiple times a day - leads to not so many places on your arm to draw blood. 

By the end of my stay they ended up putting a central-line in my body to draw blood. Was I so happy!!

The surgeries went fine ... clearly, because I am at home now. I thought I would write a little about them since I haven't yet. Warning: It will be brief and not descriptive - due to what I remember and the time that has lapsed.

Friends Came to Visit